Grief & Holidays

The holiday season can usher in joy and celebration; however, in our broken world, children often find themselves processing grief.

Be it grieving the death of a family member, divorce, being in foster care, or processing a terminal illness. While children and adults both grieve, it may not look the same:  

• Children experience grief differently – with a lower emotional threshold, kids may show grief through behaviors like tantrums or nightmares, bed wetting, reenacting the trauma and processing emotions in ways that aren't always obvious.  

• Non-linear and ongoing –
  children can move in and out of the classic grief stages unpredictably and may revisit grief during milestones and holidays. It’s normal for them to take “breaks” from grieving and be themselves. 

• Understanding death is complex –
  since abstract thinking develops later, the concept of death is harder for them to grasp, affecting how they process and express grief.

Tips to help a child grieving during the holidays   

• Create a safe place to discuss their grief 
  and offer to pray together. We serve the God 
  Who Comforts us. He wants us to bring our joy and sorrow to Him. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter.  

• Talk with them about their deceased loved one and share good memories. 

• Offer appropriate affection. 

• Encourage creative activities like drawing, coloring, and painting. 

• Honor their loved ones with special traditions. 

• Explain what traditions will and will not change.  

• Allow this year to be different. 

• Maintain routines while allowing flexibility.